Thursday, November 8, 2012

Issues #000, #001, #002, #003, #005, #006, #007, #008 and #009

#000: Should Democracy Be Compulsory?

The Issue
In response to a slow news week, certain highbrow newspapers have stirred up the debate over voluntary vs compulsory voting.

The Debate
1. "Compulsory voting makes about as much sense as having the death penalty for attempted suicide," says civil rights activist @@RANDOMNAME@@. "You can't force people to be free! You can only give them the choice. Besides, if all those derelicts who can't be bothered to get off their butts once every few years voted, who would they elect? I shudder to think."
The Result: voting is voluntary

2. "It's not contradictory at all," argues political commentator @@RANDOMNAME@@. "The fact is, if not everyone votes, the outcome isn't truly representative. Some groups--like elderly gun nuts--vote more often than others. That's why we always end up with such terrible politicians."
The Result: voting is compulsory
Political Freedom -3

3. "This raises an interesting issue," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, your brother. "And that is: why do we need elections, anyway? Seems to me it would be much simpler if you just decided what was right, and did it. Wouldn't that save everyone a lot of time?"
The Result: elections have been outlawed

#001: Where's The Love Gone?

The Issue
Last night the respected tabloid TV show "60 Minutes" ran a report on @@NAME@@'s rising divorce rate. What is happening to the nuclear family?

The Debate
1. "There's a simple solution," says Pastor Felix, of the Catholic Church. "Divorce should be illegal. 'For better or worse,' anyone remember how that goes? We should return to the good old days, when you got married for life and stuck by your partner no matter how much of a drunken, abusive, adulterating disappointment they turned out to be."

The Result: divorce is illegal
Civil rights -6

2. John Black, author of the hit book, 'Men are from Mars, Women are from Some Whole Other Place,' has a simpler solution. "If couples would just call each other 'darling' once in a while, there would be far fewer relationship breakdowns. A little affection is all it takes. So the government should make it mandatory: call your spouse 'darling' at least once a day, or face a fine."
The Result
married couples must call each other "darling" or risk a fine
Civil rights -4
Compassion -1

3. "There's a simple way to boost the marriage rate," says gay rights activist @@RANDOMNAME@@. "Abolish those archaic laws that discriminate against same-sex marriages. It's obscene to treat people differently because of their sexual preference. Besides, everyone knows gay relationships are more stable than straight ones."

The Result: same-sex marriages are increasingly common
Civil rights +1
Taxes +1

#002: Reclaim The Streets!

The Issue
Several major city streets were clogged with bicycles this morning, as the environmental group 'Two Wheels Good, Four Wheels Bad' staged a protest. Several hundred riders ambled through downtown streets, blissfully ignoring the torrent of abuse hurled at them by thousands of motorists running late for work.

The Debate
1. "People are sick of dirty, smelly automobiles," said protest organizer @@RANDOMNAME@@. "They're choking the city, the environment--our lives! Cars must be banned!"
The Result: cars are banned.
Economy -25
Taxes +7

2. "The only thing people are sick of is long-haired idiots riding their bicycles at two miles an hour on major thoroughfares," says committed motorist @@RANDOMNAME@@. "People shouldn't be able to protest like this. The government needs to crack down on them."
The Result: bicyclists are banned from major roads.
Political freedoms -8

3. The Automotive Manufacturers Association, meanwhile, has called for government support. "It's clear that we need to boost the level of automobile support in this country. This protest this morning is a clear indication of... um... anyway, we need more government funds."
The Resultthe automotive industry soaks up huge government handouts
Taxes +3
Economy +27
Industry: Automobile Manufacturing +2


#003: Harry Potter Censorship Row

The Issue
The latest "Harry Potter" book to hit schools across @@NAME@@ has stirred up the greatest controversy yet.

The Debate
1. "I quite enjoyed the book, until I got to the part where Harry summons evil demons to do his bidding," says religious leader @@RANDOMNAME@@. "Now that's just wrong. We need to restore some sense to this debate, by which I mean we should remove this book from the shelves, salt it thoroughly, and burn it."
The Result: Harry Potter books are banned
Civil Rights -4
Taxes +1

2. Teachers union President @@RANDOMNAME@@ says, "Come on, the book is fantasy! And it's a damn good read. I'd like the government to issue a statement of support for our teachers and librarians, so kids can enjoy good books without interference from religious wackos, like Christians."
The Result: the latest Harry Potter book is a bestseller
Civil Rights +7
Economy +1
Industry: Book Publishing +1

#005: Child Casino Shock

The Issue
Children as young as eight have been spotted gambling in some of @@NAME@@'s seedier casinos.

The Debate
1. Social activist @@RANDOMNAME@@ is outraged. "Gambling needs to be outlawed immediately. It's no wonder children are becoming sucked into the vice, with adults setting such a poor example. Gambling is a stain on @@NAME@@'s international reputation and it must be stopped!"
The Result: gambling is outlawed.
Economy -8
Taxes +1

2. However, Crown Casino chairperson @@RANDOMNAME@@ says, "What's wrong with children gambling? It prepares them for the realities of life, teaching them that success or failure is not due to hard work or intelligence, but the roll of the dice. Besides, if kids weren't gambling, they'd be spraypainting trains."
The Resultyoung children are regularly seen wagering pocket money at blackjack tables.
Taxes -9
Economy +22
Industry: gambling +1

#006: Appointment Of Spiritual Advisor

The Issue
It's time for the government to hire a new religious advisor. Your people have narrowed down the candidates to:

The Debate
1. Catholic Archbishop @@RANDOMNAME@@: boasts an excellent track record, having rapidly increased church attendances in his constituencies through the "Reaching God Through Guilt" program. Seen as a solid choice.
The Result: the government is seen to favor Catholics
Godlessness -5
Corruption +2

2. New Age thinker @@RANDOMNAME@@: a left-field candidate with some radical ideas. "For me, it's not about the name of your religion. It's about discovering your spirituality in whatever guise that takes. Some people call that a cult: I call it taking spirituality to the people."
The Result: the government's religious works are headed by a New Age guru
Taxes +1

3. Finally, there's @@RANDOMNAME@@. "If I am awarded the appointment, I will immediately resign," the ex-schoolteacher has declared. "Because, frankly, God is a big load of hokey. I'll be doing everyone a favor by just shutting up about it."
The Resultthe government is avowedly atheist
Taxes -1

#007: Animal Liberation Front Strikes Again

The Issue
The increasingly militant Animal Liberation Front struck again last night, freeing dozens of chickens bound for delicious snack packs.

The Debate
1. "These nuts have got to be stopped," demands concerned consumer @@RANDOMNAME@@. "They need to face the fact people want snack packs, no matter how many innocent chickens must be sacrificed. Besides, chickens would do the same to us if they had the chance."
The Result: Animal Liberationists are regularly jailed.
Political Freedoms -5
Civil Rights -4

2. "These Liberationists are highlighting an important issue," pleads @@RANDOMNAME@@. "Too often, animals are put through needless cruelty, just to make their flesh taste a little more deliciously succulent. I'm sure we could ban the more horrific abuses without putting too much of a dent in our national obesity figures. Couldn't we?"
The Result: meat-eating is frowned upon

3. "Animals have feelings too!" yelled protestor @@RANDOMNAME@@, before being set upon by hungry passers-by. "Free the animals! Ban meat-eating!"
The Result: vegetarianism is compulsory

4. Economist @@RANDOMNAME@@ has an alternative. "You don't need to take away the people's right to choose. You just need to build the costs of animal suffering into the price. A tax on meat-eating, in proportion to the amount of cruelty involved, would do the trick. Plus think of the benefit for the national coffers! Of course, poor people wouldn't be able to afford meat, but that's just more incentive for them to get jobs."
The Resultmeat is a luxury afforded only to the wealthy
Taxes +2
Social Conservatism +3
Wealth Gaps +1


#008: Nudists Demand Time In Sun

The Issue
A loose coalition of sartorially-challenged individuals known as "Let It All Hang Out" has called on the government to relax public nudity laws.

The Debate
1. "For too long, our bodies have been trapped in these prisons of cotton and polyester!" yelled protester @@RANDOMNAME@@, while apparently developing a nasty case of sunburn. "We must repeal the puritanical laws that make public nudity a crime. My body--my choice to dangle!"
The Result: citizens can be frequently spotted going about their business stark naked
Civil Rights +2
Nudity +3

2. "I agree," mused sociology professor @@RANDOMNAME@@. "But I don't think the protestors are going far enough. Public nudity shouldn't be an option: it should be compulsory. Nudity is highly liberating. And it would put that disgusting "Hooters" out of business once and for all."
The Result: public nudity is compulsory
Civil Rights -11
Nudity +190
Averageness +18

3. "Whoa, whoa," says noted accountant @@RANDOMNAME@@. "Are these people serious? The last thing I want to see when I'm out for a coffee is some lumbering, over-weight nudist coming down the sidewalk toward me. If people want to get naked, they can do it in the privacy of their own homes. Think of the children!"
The Result: nudity is frowned upon
Social Conservatism +4


#009: @@ANIMAL@@s On The Dinner Table?

The Issue
In a bid to provide a new revenue stream for @@NAME@@'s Beef-Based Agriculture industry, it has been suggested that @@ANIMAL@@s could be added to the menu.

The Debate
1. "The fact is, the @@ANIMAL@@ population is out of control," says Beef-Based Agriculture spokesperson @@RANDOMNAME@@. "We have to do something about them anyway, so why not market them as tasty snacks? We could have @@ANIMAL@@ kebabs, @@ANIMAL@@ pies, @@ANIMAL@@-on-a-sticks--the possibilities are endless! Let's not pass up this golden opportunity to provide a feast, if you will, for our economy."
The Result: ANIMALs are considered a delicacy
Economy +5
Taxes +1

2. "I agree that something needs to be done about @@ANIMAL@@ over-population," says random passer-by @@RANDOMNAME@@, "but eating them? That's kind of gross. Let's just shoot the ones we have to and shovel their bodies into ditches like normal."
The Result: a nation-wide cull of ANIMALS is in effect.
Economy +2

3. "I am shocked and appalled!" declared SPCA President @@RANDOMNAME@@. "If anyone needs to be culled, it's us humans. The @@ANIMAL@@s were here first, remember? We need to take this as a sign to get our industry--agriculture in particular--to back off. The @@ANIMAL@@ is part of what makes @@NAME@@ a great nation!"
The Result: the ANIMAL is a protected species
Civil rights -3
Economy +5
Taxes -1
Averageness +2


  1. #008: Nudists Demand Time In Sun
    Option 1 gave my nation:
    2 Nudity 2
    3 Weather 1
    4 Tourism 1

  2. #007: Animal Liberation Front Strikes Again
    Option 2 resulted in:

    Compassion 2
    Niceness 2
    Rudeness -2
    Weather 4
    Pacifism 2
    Obesity -4
    Toxicity -2
    Averageness 1

  3. #000 Should Democracy Be Compulsory?
    Option 1 resulted in:

    Political Freedoms +12
    Authoritarianism -0.095
    Averageness +9
    Corruption -9
    Freedom from Corruption +9
    Ideological Radicality -3
    Pacifism -1
    Political Apathy +3
    Rudeness +0.9
    Safety +1.8
    Toxicity -3

  4. I have been tiny bit familiar of this your broadcast provided bright clear concept...


  5. Many people wonder whether democracy should be enforced or not. I do not see it as a compulsion. I will do different democracies.