Friday, November 23, 2012

Issues #142, #200, #054, #083, #059, #094, #108, #047, #267 and #324

#142: Roads Like Roller Coasters, Complain Motorists [Mirkai; ed:Sirocco]

The Issue
A group of local motorists have assembled outside of City Hall to protest against the shoddy state of roads in @@NAME@@.

The Debate
1. "These roads are terrible!" shouts @@RANDOMNAME@@, president of the @@NAME@@ Auto Club. "Every few feet there's a crack, or a pothole, or a gravel patch, or the remains of someone else's car! It's really too much! And just look at this-" he adds, rubbing a nasty bruise on his forehead - "I got that from my rear-view mirror after flying over a bump on Main Street! These roads must be fixed! There really needs to be vast improvements made now, before anyone gets seriously hurt."
The Results: roads are often attended by round-the-clock construction crews.
Taxes +1

2. @@RANDOMNAME@@, avowed anti-spending advocate, disagrees: "Road construction? What a waste of @@CURRENCY@@s! If people can still drive on them, then the roads are fine as they are. Spending more to make trivial repairs would just be a waste of the tax payers' money! We should just ignore these whiners and leave the roads as they are and if the drivers don't like that - well... then they can just learn to walk like the rest of us."
The Results: the roads are virtually falling apart.

3. "Why on Earth is it the government's responsibility to build and maintain roads?" asks bicyclist @@RANDOMNAME@@, pausing for breath. "Not all citizens own automobiles, you know. The government should be trying to make life better for all, not just car owners! If people want roads, then let private industry build them, and they can charge tolls to the people who actually drive on them. Leave the government out of it!"
The Results: women earn less than half the salary of men if they can even find a job.
Economy +1
Taxes -2

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#200: Birds, Bees, And Breeding Teens [Eta Carinae; ed:Sirocco]

The Issue
A study has shown that an increasing proportion of teenagers in @@NAME@@ are falling pregnant.

The Debate
1. "We need comprehensive sex education to be mandatory in all schools," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, a teacher while tidying away some diagrams that make your eyes water. "The plain fact is that teenagers will experiment with sexual intercourse despite what society or their parents wish. So I say give these kids free contraceptives, and make them fully aware of the consequences of their actions. Information is what they need, not condemnation. If they ignore it then hey, it's their own damn fault."
The Results: schoolchildren have twice-weekly sex education classes.

2. "If you give them contraception it'll just encourage them to do... terrible things," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, a religious parent and member of Moral Minority. "And what's with giving them so much information? There's even diagrams for goodness sake! Have they never heard of 'monkey see, monkey do'? They'll just go and try it out, mark my words! The solution is simple: girls should be kept at home and away from the monkey house of lustful impetuousness and young males until they are of marriageable age. Teaching teenagers abstinence and chastity is the key, not giving them step-by-step manuals."
The Results: dark alleys and public toilets are filled with furtive sexual activities among teenagers and unmarried adults.
Taxes +1

3. "However sex education is taught, it is still social engineering and so undermines parental authority," says conservative newspaper columnist @@RANDOMNAME@@. "My own son learned about something called 'homosexuality' the other day! For shame! We all know it should be Adam and Eve, not Adam and... Geoff? Anyway, my point is that sex education should be dropped from schools and instead taught by parents the way they see fit. That way children will get consistent messages and parents, not society, will cop the blame if any of their kids fall pregnant."
The Results: a study has shown that many parents are too embarrassed to teach their children sex education.
Taxes -1

4. "No-one's asked me my opinion yet," says Catherine Gratwick, a teenage mother as she bottle-feeds her baby. "I think it's perfectly obvious what the cause of teenage pregnancy is - teenage boys! My son's father is the one that got me into this mess. He's the one who pressured me into having sex, but all the education is focused on the girls. Teenage fathers should be made responsible for their actions for once and be made to join the military so they can send their wages back to pay for their children's upkeep. If that's not a deterrent, then I don't know what is."
The Results: teenage fathers are forced to join the army.
Civil Rights -3

5. "I think we've missed the fact that maybe this teenage pregnancy phenomenon is not such a bad thing," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, a famous demographer. "We need the population to grow, we need more people of working age, we need more tax for public services, et cetera. There are plenty of sound demographical reasons why we should be encouraging women to have families. By all means educate them about the dangers, but I don't think we ought to discourage teenagers from procreating - it's nature's way you know."
The Results: the lowest age at which one can marry has been recently lowered to 12.
Civil Rights +5
Taxes +1

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#054: Time To Put The Older Senators Out To Pasture? [Pangaa; ed:Reploid Productions]

The Issue
Many people are starting to think that it's time to put term limits on elected officials, given the average age of 70 years old and 40 years of service in the nation's Parliament.

The Debate
1. "It's time to get these lifetime politicians off the government payroll!" says term-limits advocate @@RANDOMNAME@@. "Let them get real jobs like the rest of us once they leave office. Besides, if they are currently a Senator, they can always run for another office like Governor. This gives people the right to elect whomever they want to run for office, just not the same office forever. It'll keep things from going completely stale!"
The Results: strict term limits have been applied to all elected offices.

2. "Wait a minute," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, chairman of the national Infinite Power party. "We pay a lot of money to get those people into office. It can take several terms before we get a return on our investment, I mean, candidates. We should extend the number of years for each term, not limit the number of times a person can serve in any specific office!"
The Results: elected officials often serve for decades in a single term.
Political Freedoms -1

3. Your aunt's mother's step-sister's best friend's hairstylist, @@RANDOMNAME@@, pooh-poohs the entire idea. "You know how to run your country, yes? Why deal with the hassle of elected officials and elections in the first place, yes? Eliminate elections and this entire term limit issue becomes moot, yes?"
The Results: elections are outlawed and a hairstylist has recently received a government appointment.
Political Freedoms -12

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#083: High-Speed Monorail Service Promises Connections [Baudrillard; ed:Reploid Productions]

The Issue
Vroom-A-Zoom-Zoom (VAZZ), a consortium of weird-looking hippies and yuppie roller coaster aficionados, has developed plans for a high-speed monorail service for @@NAME@@ to help counter and relieve problems brought about by banning cars.

The Debate
1. "This is great," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, devout anti-spending advocate. "You know what'll happen? The government will invest huge sums of money in a service no one will use. I suggest nipping it in the bud... and cutting back government spending across the board while you're at it."
The Results: government spending has hit an all-time low.
Economy +2
Taxes -6

2. "I disagree," says @@RANDOMNAME@@ of Vroom-A-Zoom-Zoom Ltd. "If people are worried about the costs, why not let the monorail service be a private company? That way, it will have to compete with other industries and make a profit. And don't forget that'll bring in more tax revenue. Of course, that would make fares too pricey for a lot of people, but the rich would probably use it a lot!"
The Results: only the wealthy can afford monorail fares.
Economy +7
Taxes -1

3. "I really disagree," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, an unwashed denizen standing in the middle of Noh Weir, population 200, on the outskirts of @@NAME@@. "The state must run the monorail service, otherwise it's useless. What a monorail system should do is connect both large and small cities, and the only way to do that is for the government to run the rails, using the profits from the larger cities to subsidize the routes for smaller ones."
The Results: a vast monorail network carries people all over the country.
Taxes +2

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#059: Drunk Driving On The Rise [Cspalla; ed:SalusaSecondus]

The Issue
More and more, citizens are drinking before getting behind the wheel. A group of concerned citizens wants something done.

The Debate
1. @@RANDOMNAME@@, head of @@NAME@@'s chapter of Alcoholics Anonymous, says that drunk drivers need help. "Alcoholism is a nasty thing, a disease. The government has to help these poor souls to avoid the temptations of liquor, and wine, and beer, and hard cider, and brandy, and?" His eyes get a glazed far off look, "Where was I? Oh right, we have to help these people, not imprison them."
The Results: drunk drivers are sent to rehabilitation paid for by the government.
Taxes +1

2. "That's lovely," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, a noted anti-alcohol advocate, "In a perfect world where rehab fixes everything. But this is the real world, and it doesn't bring back the victims. Drunk drivers kill people every day. If they take other's lives, the government must take theirs!"
The Results: drunk drivers are sentenced to death.

3. "All of those plans attack the symptoms, not the disease," says Minister of Transportation @@RANDOMNAME@@, "Alcohol is a curse, a poison sent by the Devil to tempt mankind. We cannot trust people to make decisions for themselves. The only answer is prohibition. Ban alcohol completely."
The Results: all alcohol is banned.
Civil Rights -1

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#094: Computer Users Fed Up With Heaps of Spam! [Bored Yawning; ed:Reploid Productions]

The Issue
A survey citing a tremendous increase in unsolicited emails has added fire to the subject of what many view as a scourge of the Internet.

The Debate
1. "The spam problem is out of control," states anti-spam advocate @@RANDOMNAME@@. "I get at least fifty spam e-mails a day. That isn't even counting the spam people are posting to my newsgroup and to my messageboard. This junk is a waste of time in that I have to delete it and a waste of my money in that I have to buy anti-spam programs-which hardly work anyway. People get swindled by this stuff - it should be a crime, just like regular fraud."
The Results: the government spends millions of CURRENCYs every year prosecuting spammers.
Civil Rights -1
Taxes +2

2. "A ban on all spam is a restriction on our freedom of speech and on the freedom of the press!" screams @@RANDOMNAME@@ president of Citizens for Internet Freedom. "What is the government to say what is and isn't commercial spam? Could they haul charity representatives off to jail for seeking donations? Could they jail politicians for using e-mail to try and gain votes? Could they arrest me if I accidentally send my erotic novel-in-progress to the wrong address? Seriously, spamming is a subjective offense and as such should not be considered a crime."
The Results: computer users are buried daily in thousands of unsolicited emails.

3. "Both sides are wrong," grumbles government paper-pusher @@RANDOMNAME@@. "Spam is definitely a problem, yet so is the restriction on freedoms which some draconian anti-spam codes would impose. I propose a ban on overtly fraudulent spam, and a tax on more legitimate businesses that rely on spam as an advertising method, and a strict legal definition of spam that would ensure no innocent person was prosecuted or taxed."
The Results: the government is making attempts at curtailing the flood of spam emails with little progress.
Taxes +1

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#108: Gambling Interests Offer High Stakes [New Sweden X; ed:Reploid Productions]

The Issue
In light of @@NAME@@'s ban on gambling, people ranging from angry homemakers to allegedly legitimate businessmen have been arguing incessantly about whether or not banning casinos was a good idea.

The Debate
1. "We are highly distressed at your decision to revoke our casino licences," says FamilyCorp. Representative "Fat Tony" @@RANDOMNAME@@, while sipping a glass of fine wine. "If the ban were to be revoked, think of all the money you could get from your cut of the profit. In addition, it would help ensure the safety of assorted members of @@NAME@@'s government. I think this is an offer that you should not refuse."
The Results: rumor has it that the government was paid off by the mob to allow casinos to reopen.
Economy +16
Taxes -1

2. "These casinos cannot be allowed to reopen!" says @@RANDOMNAME@@, an ex-gambling addict. "Remember what happened last time? People get out of control and lose their life's savings! Just say no to these so-called legitimate businesses! And crack down on the rest of organized crime while you're at it."
The Results: the mob and the police have recently had numerous clashes in the back alleys of NATION's cities due to the government's steadfast anti-casino stance.
Taxes +1

3. "There is a solution to this problem," says Native @@NAME@@ite chief Dances-With-@@ANIMAL@@s. "You could let us front the casinos as payback for stealing our land, and we'll enforce age limits and pay some tax on the income these casinos generate. Just think of the jobs it could create for us, and the boost to the economy!"
The Results: gambling addicts regularly lose their families' nest eggs at Native Nationite casinos.
Economy +3
Taxes -1

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#047: The Great Wall of @@NAME@@? [1 Infinite Loop; ed:Reploid Productions]

The Issue
Due to the ongoing wars in neighboring countries, a recent rash of illegal immigrants have been caught at the borders of @@NAME@@, prompting many citizens to call for tighter immigration laws.

The Debate
1. @@RANDOMNAME@@ of the @@NAME@@ National Purity League says "These illegal aliens are just an eyesore with their strange customs and funny languages. Uneducated immigrants like these only worsen crime and steal valuable jobs! I say we should boot them all out on their ears and put a big fence around the country!"
The Results: a large concrete wall is being built around the country's borders.

2. @@RANDOMNAME@@ of the @@NAME@@ Civil Liberties Union says "We must welcome these refugees from any nation into our open arms, they are fleeing one oppressive dictatorial regime in the only way they know, we must not let them think they're jumping from the frying pan into the fire!"
The Results: refugees from other nations are flocking to NATION's border.

3. "Hold on there, hold on people!" says @@RANDOMNAME@@ of the @@NAME@@ Broadcasting company, "We don't have to take either extreme, all we have to do is make a TV game show out of it! We put deadly obstacles on the border and monitor it with television cameras! Those that make it across win freedom and citizenship, and those who don't, well, lets just say that our buzzards won't starve. We could call it 'Who Wants to be an Immigrant?'!"
The Results: the controversial show 'Who Wants to be an Immigrant?' has become wildly popular.

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#267: Controversial Coup Causes Commotion [Sedgistan; ed:Sedgistan]

The Issue
A coup in a neighbouring country has seen a mercenary force led by retired @@NAME@@ian general @@RANDOMNAME@@ take charge of the peaceful backwater, purging the opposition, and suppressing freedoms. Despite the new leader making a dubious promise to hold elections, the government in exile is demanding that @@NAME@@ takes action.

The Debate
1. "THIS IS A DISGRACE", bellows Brigadier General @@RANDOMNAME@@, scattering plastic soldiers over the floor. "This traitor must be overthrown! Gather together our forces and sweep the tyrant from power. While we're at it, @@NAME@@ could do with some more tanks - you never know when the next coup might be."
The Results: the government is pouring money into 'Operation Enduring Democracy'.
Taxes +2


2. @@RANDOMNAME@@, a junior official, puts down "Diplomacy for Dummies" and pipes up. "The best method of solving problems is talking. Send the new regime a strongly worded letter of protest and encourage them to negotiate. On a similar note, perhaps you could take your spouse out for a meal tonight. You've been spending far too much time sorting out this nation's issues lately."
The Results: the art of conversation has been rediscovered.
Taxes -1


3. Noted realist and tabloid columnist @@RANDOMNAME@@ disagrees. "We should give this new regime a chance. After all, they now control a sizeable economy, and they need weapons - we could offer to recognise the new government if they agreed to buy arms from us. Also, I couldn't help but notice some protesters outside your office. We wouldn't want a coup happening here - everyone would feel safer if they were moved on."
The Results: the government encourages conflict abroad to increase arms sales.
Economy +1
Political Freedoms -11
Taxes -6


4. "I don't see what the problem is", a voice strangely like your own whispers in your ear. Your twin, standing far too close for comfort, continues, "this has given me a great idea - why not just declare yourself supreme leader of @@NAME@@? After all, the people do love you so very much."
The Results: pollsters are out of a job as elections have been cancelled.
Political Freedoms -21


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#324 "Tourism Tanking!" Trumpet Tabloids 

The Issue
Following a public safety disaster of unimaginable magnitude - so extreme that members of your government only mention it in hushed voices, and only then in the vaguest of terms - NATION's tourism industry has hit the rocks. Commentators from all walks of life have come to your office to offer their opinions.

The Debate
1. "The government has to step in and do something, for once!" demands tour operator Doris Usman, visibly pulling her hair out. "If we'd had proper railings on the marina, that shark would never have gotten into the oil refinery in the first place! The government has to put better regulations in place to make sure disasters of this kind never happen again. And if we want to coax back the tourists we've lost, we need a whole bunch of new state-subsidised hotels, parks and tourist attractions. Shark-proof ones. Our economy will never survive without it!"
The Results: a new generation of aquariumless hotels are being built under government supervision.
Economy +4
Taxes +1 


2. "Why waste more money?" grumbles middle-aged industrialist Konrad Leach, chomping on a fat cigar, "Look. I'm as sorry as the next schmuck for those poor farmers' ant epidemic. But we've got to realise that tourism is just not NATION's strong suit; and that's not going to change, no matter how much the state spends. Hell, if the government really wanted to do something to fix our economy, it'd be to give everyone a healthy tax-cut and get rid of some of that environmental legislation - set up for the benefit of a bunch of tree-hugging foreigners, I might add."
The Results: visitors to the famed rainforests are instead taken to vast furniture factories.
Economy +2
Taxes -2 


3. "I think I've got another solution to this problem," says your shadiest government advisor, waving a magazine spread of bathing beauties sunning themselves at the NATION City Grand Regent. "Now we're not goin' to be able to hide the fact that Capital City is now covered in pink frosting, but... what if the inspectors an' tour guides an' all those types of folks just didn't notice all that mess? After all, we don't have the money to clear it all up, but I think we do have just about enough to dangle a few CURRENCYs in front of anyone who wants to give our nation a good review. After all, a few firm golden handshakes never hurt no-one."
The Results: online tourism reviews of NATION are suspiciously positive and amazingly similar.
Civil Rights -1
Economy +3
Taxes +1

5 comments:

  1. "Tourism Tanking!" Trumpet Tabloids is issue #324

    ReplyDelete
  2. #142: Roads Like Roller Coasters, Complain Motorists
    option 1:

    Weather 2
    Public Transport 3
    Tourism -0.25
    Obesity -8
    Environmental Beauty -0.25
    Toxicity 0.25
    Averageness -4

    ReplyDelete
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  4. Why waste more cash?" grumbles center-aged industrialist Konrad Leach, chomping on a fats cigar, watch online movies
    "seem. I'm as sorry as the following schmuck for those poor farmers' ant epidemic.

    ReplyDelete