Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Issues #115, #169, #207, #245, #247, #259, #297, #318, #322 and #323

#322: Empathy a Rare Commodity? [The Cookish States; ed:Luna Amore]

The Issue
Last week, a jaywalking man was hit by a truck in a busy intersection. He lay there for seventeen hours before a policeman tripped over him and brought him to jail for loitering.

The Debate
1."This is despicable!" yelps one lone protester, desperately trying to get others involved. "How low have we sunk that we care so little for our fellow man? The answer is as plain as the nose on your face. You must create an Empathy Awareness Squad. They would train people on how to be kind to and empathize with one another. Sure, it'll require some extra taxes, but can you really put a price on kindness? I mean, what if YOU get hit by a truck next time?"
The Results: citizens are tied down and forced to watch educational videos on empathy.
Civil Rights -1

2."Good riddance!" scoffs @@RANDOMNAME@@, a sullen, disgruntled postal worker. "I think we should give the policeman who arrested that freeloader a medal! Mandatory empathy programs? Ha! No amount of touchy-feely 'training' is gonna make me empathize with these idiots. This is just nature's way of weeding out the weak and infirm. In fact, we should cut what social spoon-feeding programs we've got left. Give your good and decent citizens a tax break."
The Results: curtailed social programs have left many citizens bereft of any safety net.
Taxes -2

#323: Get Teens out of MyFace? [Malsitar; ed:Lenyo]

The Issue
After the kidnapping, rape, and murder of a young blond girl made national headlines in @@NAME@@, the concerned parenting organization Mothers Against Youth Doing Stupid Stuff (MAYDSS) has raised concerns over the use of social networking sites by the nation's teens.

The Debate
1."Teens should not be allowed to use social networking!" cries the girl's mother, @@RANDOMNAME@@. "Some creep added my little darling as a 'friend' on that awful website, and he used it to get all of her personal information and track her down! Obviously, the only sane course of action is to ban all legal minors from using social networking sites! And don't just stop at social networks: block everything else that MAYDSS doesn't approve of!"
The Results: it is now illegal for teens to view any sites except Club Kitten and My Little Donkey.
Civil Rights -2
Authoritarianism +0.010
Ideological Radicality +1
Law Enforcement +1
Nudity -2
Safety +1
Social Conservatism +2
Weather -1

2."Why that's utterly preposterous!" shouts Luke Zuckermann, founder of MyFace, a popular social networking site. "You can't restrict people like that! Oh, sure, today it's keeping teens from lining my wa- I mean - accessing my website, but tomorrow it's keeping everyone from anywhere the government doesn't like! I say free up the web, and get rid of restrictions!"
The Results: the nation leads REGION in per capita stalking.
Civil Rights +4
Taxes -1

3."You know, there's always a compromise," says local pervert @@RANDOMNAME@@ while watching you from a nearby tree. "As I see it, the best way to keep both sides of the argument happy is to remove all restrictions on what adults can view and increase restrictions on minors. But at the same time, lower the age of majority by a lot. What could possibly go wrong?"
The Results: the fastest growing demographic of porn viewership is twelve to seventeen.
Civil Rights +3

4."What could possibly go wrong, you ask?" panics your paranoid cousin, @@RANDOMNAME@@. "On the internet, nobody knows your actual age. It's a haven for malicious anonymity! Besides, children aren't the only people at risk on the internet. It's full of stalker-rapists and bomb-makers and viruses and sick, depraved porn. We're better off without it."
The Results: computers are used primarily for word processing and solitaire.
Civil Rights -3
Taxes +1

#169: @@ANIMAL@@ Hunting Laws Under Dispute [Vigorithia; ed:Sirocco]

The Issue
The fierce debate on @@ANIMAL@@ hunting in @@NAME@@ has been brought to your attention after vociferous supporters of both sides of the argument stormed your parliament.

The Debate
1. "@@ANIMAL@@ hunting is a cruel and horrible 'sport' for the wealthy," says @@RANDOMNAME@@ of the 'Protect Anything Cute and Furry Society'. "How can you possibly justify it? Oh, they witter on about 'tradition' and 'pest control' and other such nonsense, but really we all know it's because these sadists love to torture poor, innocent animals! Hunting must be banned!"
The Results: the upper class have been throwing riots after hunting was recently banned.
Civil Rights -6

2. "Banning @@ANIMAL@@ hunting would be the end for centuries of tradition!" wails esteemed aristocrat @@RANDOMNAME@@ from atop his steed. "The thrill of the chase, the baying of the hounds, the @@ANIMAL@@ scooting through the undergrowth - it would be a travesty! We provide much needed stimulus to the local tourism, and you can't deny that @@ANIMAL@@s are pests - killing farmers' livestock for example! I propose that @@ANIMAL@@ hunting be encouraged, for the cultural - and economic - benefit of the nation!"
The Results: the nation is famous for having one of the world's largest ANIMAL hunting institutions.

3. "Well, you know what I think?" asks @@RANDOMNAME@@, while helping to assemble a small trebuchet. "I reckon that the real issue about this sport is the cruelty aspect, and no-one can deny that sending a pack of dogs to tear apart a poor, innocent @@ANIMAL@@ is cruel. I reckon we should just ban hunting with hounds and only allow kinder and more instantly lethal methods like guns, tranquillisers, and cruise missiles."
The Results: main battle tanks stalk the woods of NATION in search of ANIMALS.

4. "I'm firmly against the slaughter of dumb animals," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, while feeding an infant @@ANIMAL@@ with a milk bottle. "It would be best if the animals didn't die, and hunters could still do what they love to do - how about instead of shooting them or sending vicious canines after them, the hunter runs up to his quarry and gives it a symbolic 'tap' with his hand? Now isn't that much nicer for everyone?"
The Results: hunters have been known to lose limbs while attempting to 'play tag' with their prey.

#318: Death Penalty on Death Row? [Andacantra; ed:Sanctaria]

The Issue
After new DNA evidence has proven that recently executed inmate @@RANDOMNAME@@ was actually innocent, human rights activists have been campaigning to ban the death penalty.

The Debate
1. "This is government sanctioned murder!" chants @@RANDOMNAME@@, a human rights activist, from outside your office door. "It must end! Not only is it murder, but it amounts to hypocrisy of the highest nature. Yeah, keeping criminals locked up instead of mercilessly killing them might be costly, but maybe we can offset the cost by putting them to work making handcrafts in the prison store? Regardless, we have to abolish the death penalty - it's the only right and moral thing to do!"
The Results: prisoners work-share to cut down rising costs of keeping them in jail.
Civil Rights +1

2. "What about other potential criminals out there?" whimpers @@NAME@@ Neighbourhood Watch spokesperson @@RANDOMNAME@@, who has taken to hiding beneath your desk. "Did you know that since we introduced the death penalty the crime rate has decreased hugely? I say we introduce the death penalty for more crimes, like burglary and trespassing, and then no-one will ever dare to do anything wrong!"
The Results: the populace lives in fear of painful execution for minor offences.
Civil Rights -7

3. "There's absolutely no proof that the crime rate has decreased", states @@RANDOMNAME@@, your foreign affairs advisor, with a nod. "But I have an idea. If we're going to be killing these people, we ensure it's as non-violent and as respectful as possible; make our executions more humane and give these people some choice in how they die. The international community will love us for our civility and humaneness. We'll be an international benchmark!"
The Results: criminals are put to death while cuddling their favourite teddy bear.

4. "If it ain't broke, don't fix it" @@RANDOMNAME@@, the Chief Deputy Assistant Police Commissioner states, swirling a pair of handcuffs on one finger. "We don't go around executing innocent people for the fun of it; accidents happen! So those hippy people should quit their boo-hooin'. Look, if we give our boys in blue some more cash maybe there'll be less room for mistakes. Everyone goes away happy."
The Results: police officers have been re-kitted with designer uniforms and gold plated handcuffs.

5. "Hows abo' bringin' back dem-dere good ol' fashioned lynchings? Bring justice back ter tha peoples!" shouts Jethro, a survivalist. "Who'd dare ta kill innocent peoples when tha punishmen' is bein' pelted ta death wit' rocks?"
The Results: innocent people are routinely stoned to death by frenzied lynch mobs.
Taxes -2

#297: Intersex Athletes Demand Level Playing Field [Gior Altheriod; ed:Sanctaria]

The Issue
During the last @@NAME@@ Athletics Championship, a massive controversy arose following the revelation that double gold medalist Atlanta Johnson possesses both male and female sexual organs, despite being entirely female in external appearance.

The Debate
1. "How is this difficult to understand?" questions well-known sports commentator @@RANDOMNAME@@. "There are sports and competitions just for men, and there are sports and competitions just for women; we don't let men run in a women's race, so what's the difference here? And if it's too difficult to decide whether the athlete is a man or woman, then we shouldn't let them compete at all! Fair is fair is fair."
The Results: muscular women are banned from competing in sporting competitions.

2. "I think I see a solution to all this," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, your Minister for Solutions, whilst solving the crossword in your morning newspaper. "We should overhaul the entire sport system in @@NAME@@ so that people compete against each other based on skill, not gender. Sure, it might be expensive but it'd be worth it if we want everyone to be happy."
The Results: the 'kind of scrawny' 500 meter hurdle is a popular event.
Civil Rights +3
Taxes +1

3. "We can't just stop there!" protests well-known LGBTQQIA activist @@RANDOMNAME@@. "We should completely overhaul @@NAME@@ itself to make it less hostile to those like Ms. Johnson! Schools, hospitals, workplaces – they'll all need to be changed! There should be public toilets catered solely for the intersex too! You can't put a price on equality!"
The Results: national parks have long lines of different gender-specific 'Porta-Pottys'.
Civil Rights +2
Taxes +1

4. "You're not actually going to listen to that parasite, I hope?" your bald, heavily tattooed cousin says with a raised eyebrow. "You want to actually give these monsters recognition? Not only are they going to make us the laughing stock of the international community, but they, and other freaks like them, are an insult to our race. What we must do is banish such scum from @@NAME@@; their lesser blood and DNA are only an impediment to the success and dominance of our race – a master race!"
The Results: hairdressers are among those who have disappeared overnight.
Civil Rights -4

#207: Secret Police In @@NAME@@? [GX-Land; ed:Sirocco]

The Issue
Anarchists have been covertly putting up anti-government posters all over @@NAME@@. Some of your closest advisors have suggested the implementation of a secret police force to deal with the more... difficult members of society.

The Debate
1. "Sometimes a government has got to deal with something without having to go through the 'proper channels'," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, who does not exist within any of @@NAME@@'s records. "It happens sometimes and we have to deal with it. It's not just anarchists either - it's the terrorists, the criminals, the traitors, and the goddamn hippies. With a secret police we can arrest the troublemakers and torture them to find other dissenters without having to worry about fiddly matters like human rights."
The Results: rumours have it that a secret police is responsible for the recent spate of missing persons.
Civil Rights -2
Political Freedoms -36
Taxes +2
Ideological Radicality +5

2. "Don't listen to that idiot!" whispers @@RANDOMNAME@@, one of your more guilt-ridden henchpersons. "I don't know how you feel about this but I think this would be a bad path for our government to go down. @@NAME@@ shouldn't resort to deceit and off-the-record brutality to put away people. A secret police force would ruin our fine nation. It's time our government was candid with its people and let them say what they want!"
The Results: anti-government political posters adorn every building like wallpaper.
Civil Rights +8
Political Freedoms +36
Taxes -3

3. "Or how about we be candid AND have a secret police force," says @@RANDOMNAME@@ your head spy from behind a newspaper with eyeholes cut out. "We could just reassign all the normal police into secret police. The beauty of it is that we won't have to bother solving crimes if it doesn't benefit the government! It's what we've always wanted! Not what the people want of course, but if they complain we can just make them... disappear."
The Results: the police force is rumoured to be made up of evil shadows with no souls.
Civil Rights -4
Political Freedoms -19

#245: Clash Of Cultures [Drunk Cowboy Junkies; ed:Sirocco]

The Issue
Conservative commentators have remarked that many foreign immigrants in @@NAME@@ are failing to take part in, or even acknowledge, the country's rich and varied culture, traditions, and social mores. This has caused some interethnic strife, and reports of violence in minority-dominated neighbourhoods have been increasing every day.

The Debate
1. "It's disrespectful," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, serving traditional @@ANIMAL@@-shaped cookies on a tray. "These people talk funny, dress funny, pray to bizarre gods, and cook their smelly food. Food I've never seen on any LOCAL menu. Some of them don't even speak our language very well! If at all! If immigrants want the privilege of living in this country then they should be made to adopt our own traditions! Otherwise our culture will slowly but surely disappear! If they refuse... well, then they can go back to their own country since they love it so much."
The Results: immigrants are required to salute the flag five times a day.

2. "I have a right to lead my life the way I want," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, an immigrant, with the help of a translator. "I will not forsake my heritage for your people and I will not dirty my tongue with your heathen language. And if you have a problem with that then tell me this: what have I done wrong? I pay my taxes, I break no laws- and yet you think I should change? Those who don't wish to 'integrate' shouldn't have to."
The Results: racial and religious segregation has become rife as the various groups are loath to mingle.
Civil Rights +5

3. "Oh, there's no need to be like that!" says @@RANDOMNAME@@, president of the Multiculturalism Society in a cheery tone. "@@NAME@@ should be a more accepting country, open to new experiences! Embrace difference, people, don't reject it! These folk aren't hurting us or our traditions, they are showing us different ways of life and making us wiser and richer beings in the process! It's our responsibility to take the first step towards reparations and remove any ethnic bias from the names of our public holidays - how does Winter Day sound to you? I like it."
The Results: religious figures have been banned from public holidays to make them more multicultural.
Civil Rights -1

4. "We need to stop thinking of 'them' as a problem that needs to be fixed," insists @@RANDOMNAME@@, an undergraduate in anthropology. "Integration in society is a two-way street, @@LEADER@@. We can't shun people for not following @@FAITH@@ or drinking their tea with the wrong hand. That's just silly! No, if we want immigrants to pick up our ways then we should be more willing to learn about theirs! Mandatory education courses should encourage citizens to learn more about other cultures in @@NAME@@."
The Results: all citizens must pass a 'multicultural sensitivity test' to be deemed fit for society
Civil Rights +4

5. "That's stupid," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, flatly. "I'm not going to 'bond' with immigrants by learning about their beliefs! For multiculturalism to actually function, everyone needs to actually meet these people and deal with them on a day-to-day basis. Then maybe they'll realise that yeah, they're people too. The only way to do this is to put an end to segregated neighbourhoods - even if it means forcing families to move elsewhere."
The Results: property values in suburbs have nosedived after the middle class were forced to live next door to ethnic minorities.
Civil Rights -2
Taxes +1

6. "Everyone shut up, I have the perfect solution," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, shouting into a megaphone. "How about we kick these ungrateful foreigners out of the nation and never let them come back?! We've all heard what those ethnics are like, I wouldn't be surprised if they ate their own young! Immigration shouldn't be allowed! I won't abide it!"
The Results: the word 'foreigner' is considered a highly vulgar expletive.
Taxes +1

#115: @@NAME@@'s Schoolchildren Not Learning The Lingua Franca [Travis Dominicus; ed:Sirocco]

The Issue
After a recent national survey revealed that almost three-quarters of the population only know the primary language of @@NAME@@, there have been rising calls for the government to take action.

The Debate
1. "Fluency in foreign languages is imperative to education," says Professor @@RANDOMNAME@@ of @@NAME@@ University. "Learning a new tongue not only gives a child a practical, marketable skill, but also encourages compassion and understanding of foreign cultures. With so many nations in the world, I do insist that we increase government funding in these areas and make it a compulsory part of the curriculum. As we say in Ancient Maxtopian: froggug sederty bungo-bungo!"
The Results: citizens are expected to be proficient in at least five languages.
Taxes +1

2. "To be frank, the need for outsiders' speak doesn't appeal to me in the slightest!" claims @@RANDOMNAME@@, a fierce patriot. "Making our children learn these languages is an affront to the basic civil rights of @@NAME@@! What's more, this will encourage those damn foreigners to come here and take our jobs! I for one, will not stand for it! We can drop that area of education; it'll give us tax payers a bit of a breather for once. I've always said that we don't need any others but our own!"
The Results: all streets are privately owned toll roads.
Economy +4
Taxes -2

#247: Where There's Smoke [Avartinate; ed:Sirocco]

The Issue
@@NAME@@'s fire protection department has long been criticised for being slow, inefficient, and underfunded. A number of ideas have been proposed on how to deal with the problem.

The Debate
1. "See here, buddy," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, putting a friendly arm around your shoulder. "Your country needs fire protection, but you don't want to pay for it yourself. What do you say me and some of the boys here open up a few fire stations of our own and let the custome- citizens pay US instead of YOU paying THEM. It's not like we won't put out the fires if they don't have anything on them, we'll just bill them and their children and their children's children until we get all our money."
The Results: reports of arson have doubled since the introduction of a privatised fire protection service.
Economy +7
Taxes -1

2. "Woah, woah, woah!" Says liberal activist, @@RANDOMNAME@@. "I don't want my rescuers to be putting less effort into their jobs because I don't have a credit card or live in a slum. Do you know when you're at your worst, financially? WHEN YOUR HOUSE JUST BURNT DOWN. This is a victimisation of the poor! The government should be in charge of the emergency services and they should treat everyone equally. It's only fair."
The Results: the fire protection service is wholly government-funded.
Taxes +1

3. "Not only that, but we need to prevent fires from happening in the first place," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, your Minister of Safety, carefully turning off the wall sockets in your office. "And if that means sending free smoke alarms, fire extinguishers, and informative pamphlets to every household in @@NAME@@ so be it! Damn the expenses, @@LEADER@@, lives are at stake!"
The Results: most citizens in NATION are abject pyrophobes after extremely graphic pamphlets were mailed nationwide by the government.
Taxes +1

4. "I think that sounds kinda... socialist," says @@RANDOMNAME@@ with a disgusted grimace. "The government should keep out of this if you ask me. The only reason fires happen is because people are stupid and they know a fire engine will come racing down the street to save them. Take away that safety blanket and I think you'll find they wise up quite quickly! We don't need any tax-consuming fire service! If idiots and their families go up in flames they'll have no one to blame but themselves."
The Results: the government's only official statement on the burning down of Capital City was that 'they shouldn't have been so careless'.
Economy +2

#259: A Taste Of Revenge [South Von; ed:Kandarin]

The Issue
A spectacular but failed attempt on your life made national news today. Interrogation of captured suspects has pinned the blame on agents of the nation of Blackacre, with which @@NAME@@ has notoriously chilly relations. Your cabinet is divided as to how to respond.

The Debate
1. "Assassins, huh? Well, two can play at that game!" says Warren McCue, your chief military adviser. "An eye for an eye! A tooth for a tooth! An assassination for a... missed shot, I suppose. Never mind that, think of the possibilities! Not only can we strike back at the scumbags who sent this assassin after you, we can turn our attention to... 'manipulating' the positions of foreign leaders and political rivals that stand in the way of @@NAME@@'s glory." He then points two fingers at the wall and mouths 'bang bang' noises.
The Results: the nation's diplomatic missives are now delivered via sniper rifle.
Political Freedoms -5

2. "Sending assassins to avenge you isn't enough!" argues hawkish talk-show host, @@RANDOMNAME@@. "The fact that Blackacre is this bold means we haven’t made them fear us yet - and a nation that isn’t feared isn’t respected. We need to do the only thing we CAN do: bomb their cities! Raise a revolution! Salt their fields! It may cost money, but our nation’s honor is priceless."
The Results: the nation's new foreign policy of 'very disproportionate retribution' has its neighbors on edge.
Taxes +1

3. "I can't believe what I'm hearing!" says the muffled voice of @@RANDOMNAME@@, an anti-violence protestor who was, until now, hiding in your air vents. "By building up our military-industrial complex, WE have become the aggressor. WE are giving nations like Blackacre good reasons to hate us! No wonder they tried to kill you - we aren't giving them enough breathing room. If we cut back our military a bit and sent them a fruit basket now and then these problems would never happen."
The Results: the government tries to improve relations with hostile countries by sending gift baskets.


  1. Hey, I just wanted to say thanks for doing all this. I've wanted to create something similar for awhile and I even began to record the results of issues for a few of my nations but I would've never been able to put it together like this. Your hard work as not gone unnoticed. Everything is great, my only problem which may be a personal setting I have to adjust myself, is that the site is in Croatian, but Besides that everything is awesome. Thanks!

    1. You're welcome Kyle and thank you for your support.
      I didn't knew that my blog was set to Croatian, now it's changed to English (I hope) so more people can use this easier :)


  2. #323: Get Teens out of MyFace? [Malsitar; ed:Lenyo]
    Option 2 resulted in:
    Civil Rights +3
    Social Conservatism -4
    Nudity +2
    Law Enforcement -1
    Safety From Crime -1
    Safety -4
    Ideological Radicality +1
    Authoritarianism -0.022
    Weaponization +1
    Toxicity +3
    World Assembly Endorsements +6
    Averageness -28

  3. #169: @@ANIMAL@@ Hunting Laws Under Dispute
    option 1 results:

    Civil Rights -4
    Compassion 2
    Social Conservatism 5
    Nudity -2
    Industry: Retail -1
    Niceness 2
    Rudeness -2
    Weather 2
    Ideological Radicality -1
    Pacifism 4
    Authoritarianism 0.008
    Culture -2
    Employment -4
    Tourism -2
    Recreational Drug Use -1
    Toxicity -3
    Influence 1
    Averageness 30

  4. #207: Secret Police In @@NAME@@?
    Option 2 gave the following results:

    Civil Rights 2
    Political Freedoms 17
    Eco-Friendliness -2
    Social Conservatism -2
    Government Size -1
    Welfare -2
    Public Healthcare -2
    Law Enforcement -2
    Rudeness 2.1
    Stupidity 1
    Safety From Crime -1
    Safety 3.2
    Ideological Radicality 7
    Defense Forces -2
    Pacifism 1
    Corruption -1
    Freedom From Corruption 1
    Authoritarianism -0.021
    Public Transport -2
    Tourism -4
    Weaponization 1
    Environmental Beauty -4
    Toxicity 13
    Averageness -197

  5. #259 A Taste of Revenge
    Option: 1
    +3 corruption
    +3 defense forces
    -1 Pacifism
    -3 safety

  6. Issue 245,option 4 actually DECREASED my civil rights by 2, not increased.

  7. Thank you for creating this guide, it has been a big help.

  8. I had a search through the link, but believe it or not I am really unsure of what would work for us.