Saturday, November 10, 2012

Issues #157, #159, #161, #162, #163, #164, #166, #167 and #168

#157: Sergeants Are Too Nasty, Say New Recruits [Mirkai; ed:Sirocco]

The Issue
A haggard group of new recruits in @@NAME@@'s army have spoken out against the brutal conditions experienced in their military training.

The Debate
1. "It's atrocious!" wails Private @@RANDOMNAME@@, from amidst the cacophony of a parade cadence. "We're forced to sleep in crowded barracks, on hard cots, and do the most inhumane exercises when we wake up! Just today I've had to crawl through a muddy minefield, climb a grease-coated wall, and to top it all off, get mangled by an angry drill sergeant! All we want is a little respect from the officers - maybe to sleep in until noon, and not have to get all sweaty and tired doing stupid things like marching and climbing ropes. Oh, and private bedrooms too - we're risking our lives for the country, after all."
The Result: military barracks resemble five-star hotels.
Taxes +2

2. "THEY WANT WHAT?!" screams Sgt. Burkz, while pressing back a rising vein on her neck. "This is WAR, not DAYCARE! If anything, the training standards should be tougher! If I want to whip some pasty-faced, beer-gutted greenhorn because he can't climb over a razor-wire fence then I should be be given the permission to do so right away! The cry-babies won't like it, but they can run home back to their rich daddies if that's the way they're having it. War isn't a walk in the park, and training shouldn't be either. For all our sakes."
The Result: the nation's infamous boot camp is more brutal than most battlefields.
Civil Rights -8

3. "Training, what a load of old hooey," says renowned spendophobe and radio announcer, @@RANDOMNAME@@. "The only thing it teaches our soldiers is how to shine boots and fight plastic dummies. We'd be better off if we just dropped them into the fight so they could learn to shoot for themselves. There might be a few accidents, but it'll be worth it for all the @@CURRENCY@@s we'll save."
The Result: soldiers are slaughtered in their thousands due to lack of training.
Taxes -4

4. "There is another way, you know..." whispers @@RANDOMNAME@@, the Chief of Secret Projects and Shiny Things in @@NAME@@'s military research department. "What if we started taking children and raising them from birth to fight? We'd be able to make them completely immune to propaganda, psychological warfare, and demoralisation. Not only would that stop the crying new recruits, it'd also give us a powerful military edge. People may not like giving up their kids, but that's why we run the country. We know better."
The Result: newborns are being raised as mindless killing machines.
Civil Rights -3
Taxes +1
Ideological Radicality +2

#159: Think Tank Proposes Privatised Prisons [Yejuda and Shomron; ed:Sirocco]

The Issue
In response to increasing costs of running state prisons, several government advisors have suggested allowing the private sector to play a greater role in managing @@NAME@@'s correctional facilities.

The Debate
1. "@@NAME@@'s prisons are in a ghastly state," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, representative for several large businesses. "The state now pays a fortune in @@CURRENCY@@s each day for every prisoner. My clients will be able to operate the prisons more efficiently and charge the state far less than they're having to pay now. With our help, those in jail will be able to get themselves jobs to do and the government can imprison as many people as they like!"
The Result: hundreds of thousands of convicts work as slaves in NATION 's many privately-owned prisons
Taxes -3

2. "This is just another scheme by multinational corporations to turn our great nation into a corporate dictatorship!" claims @@RANDOMNAME@@, of the Social Justice League of @@NAME@@. "Just say NO to privatised prisons. We should be closing them all down so we can begin focusing on rehabilitation anyway!"
The Result: convicted murderers are free to walk the streets provided they attend rehabilitation classes.
Civil Rights +6

3. "Private prisons?! Rehabilitation?! How utterly ridiculous!" exclaims @@RANDOMNAME@@, @@NAME@@'s toughest police officer. "Both of these proposals will simply waste resources on the scum of society. I say that we should summarily execute all violent criminals and give their property to their victims."
The Result: criminals are executed and their property seized.
Civil Rights -3

#161: Where There's A Will There's A Tax [Rehochipe; ed:Sirocco]

The Issue
After the vast fortunes of a recently deceased oil tycoon in @@NAME@@ were left to a small cactus plant, citizens nationwide have been asking the same question: should the inheritance tax laws be changed?

The Debate
1. "Every time I see a stupid rich kid having an easy ride of life with money they did nothing to deserve, I go into a jealous rage and start punching walls," says economically disadvantaged individual @@RANDOMNAME@@. "Abolish inheritance entirely! If the government takes the inheritance then we can spend all that cash on things that make ordinary people's lives better, like education, social welfare, and attack helicopters."
The Result: the government seizes the property of the recently deceased.
Political Freedoms -4
Taxes +2

2. "This is a disgusting breach of my human rights," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, heir to an international widget empire. "Just think of all the poor families who have spent their lives scrimping and saving with the dream of passing on a modest luxury yacht to ensure the security of their children's children. All that sacrifice, all that toil, all those long nights working their fingers to the bone setting up offshore accounts - it brings a tear to my eye. Inheritance tax has got to go!"
The Result: inheritance tax has recently been abolished.
Political Freedoms +2
Taxes -2

3. "Surely we can arrange some sort of compromise here," says comfortable knitwear fan @@RANDOMNAME@@. "Yes, it's true that some people exploit the system - but a lot of people rely on inheritance for their basic support! Why don't we just set a sensible ceiling on how much you can inherit? That way you get to keep the family farm, but not the five mansions and the oil refinery."
The Result: the government is notorious for leaving citizens with almost nothing from their inheritance.
Political Freedoms -6
Taxes +1

#162: Animal Experimentation Laws Under Scrutiny [Voroziniya; ed:Sirocco]

The Issue
Scientists and animal rights activists have once again brought up the debate over animal experimentation to your attention.

The Debate
1. "What have those poor, defenceless animals ever done to us?" asks @@RANDOMNAME@@, owner of the East @@NAME@@ @@ANIMAL@@ Sanctuary. "Kidnapping these helpless creatures from their habitat simply to stick probes and needles in them is just barbaric! How would you like it if someone caged you in a lab and conducted tests on you just to find out whether a new product was fit for sale? Experimenting on animals ought to be banned!"
The Result: dog breeding has been banned in accordance with recent animal experimentation laws.
Economy -6

2. "It is not unethical," replies Dr. @@RANDOMNAME@@, the chief surgeon at @@NAME@@'s largest Cancer Research Clinic. "The unethical thing to do would be to deny the public of the benefit of the great scientific advancements we're making! If we have to sacrifice some animals in the name of science, healthcare, or a commercial venture, then that's just what we've got to do! Think of the lives we could save! All we require is more government support and funding for this worthy cause."
The Result: several citizens have complained about scientists abducting their pets for experimentation.
Economy +5

#163: Referenda: Are they Right For @@NAME@@? [Ideal State; ed:Melkor Unchained]

The Issue
After the Parliament of @@NAME@@ recently passed a controversial law that polls have shown to be very unpopular with the public, a group of concerned citizens has called for mandatory referenda for all laws passed before the state.

The Debate
1. "We want real democracy, and we want it now!" proclaims @@RANDOMNAME@@, spokesperson for special interest group 'Direct Democracy Now!' "The fact that this latest law went through has proven that voting for a Parliament every four years is obviously not enough. Laws must be passed by the masses - that is the only way we can be sure that the will of the people is truly being enforced! We must have mandatory referenda for ALL new laws."
The Result: a referendum must be held in order for any new law to be passed.
Political Freedoms -3
Taxes +2

2. "Don't listen to these demagogues!" implores one of your top advisors, @@RANDOMNAME@@. "This is a ridiculous and dangerous idea! Referenda are costly and inefficient, and a direct threat to the fine institution that is our Parliament. What do you think we have the Parliament for anyway? Our citizenry nowadays don't know what's good for them. They're too busy milling around at the mall and buying sneakers WITH LIGHTS IN THEM. More control needs to be given to our qualified, intelligent--and most of all INFORMED--politicians."
The Result: referenda are banned by law and the Parliament has absolute control of the legislative process.
Political Freedoms -3
Taxes +5

3. "Referenda are a good idea in principle, but to make them mandatory for each and every law is simply impractical," states Political Scientist @@RANDOMNAME@@. "Representative democracy exists because direct democracy would never work in practice in a large society such as @@NAME@@. Just think of all the bureaucracy and expense that would go into it! I suggest that referenda be allowed, but only if at least a third of voters sign a petition requesting one. That should be a nice balance between democracy and practicality."
The Result: referenda can be called for any law at the request of at least one third of the voting population.
Corruption +1

#164: Licence To Breed? [Kazcaper; ed:Sirocco]

The Issue
Increasing reports of child abuse and neglect in @@NAME@@ has prompted local pressure groups to call for 'parental licences'.

The Debate
1. "You need a licence to keep @@ANIMAL@@s or drive a car," points out local current affairs commentator, @@RANDOMNAME@@. "So why should just any random idiot get to be a mother or father? It just doesn't make sense! If all potential parents had to pass tests to prove they're responsible enough, I'm sure you'd find that it would help decrease the level of child abuse, and increase proper discipline in the home."
The Result: citizens wishing to be parents must undertake a series of gruelling tests to evaluate their capabilities.
Civil Rights -1
Taxes +3

2. "This is madness!" screams @@RANDOMNAME@@. "You can't deny perfectly good people the right to bring life into this world! @@ANIMAL@@s manage it easily enough, and you can't tell me they've got more responsibility than your average upstanding citizen of @@NAME@@! The government should keep out of such matters - I've always said social workers and welfare was a drain on the budget. Yes, there will be some sad cases of neglect, but shouldn't we be giving parents the benefit of the doubt?"
The Result: almost half of the child population live rough on the streets.
Civil Rights +2

3. "The answer to this problem is patently obvious," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, your minister of Social Welfare. "The government simply needs to give more funding to the welfare department so that we can recruit more social workers to carry out regular checks on parents and judge whether or not they're doing a good job of looking after their children. It'll be expensive, but at least it's a damn sight fairer than licensing parents."
The Result: welfare funding has recently gone through the roof.
Taxes +1

#166: Vote For 'None of the Above'? [Kamikachidonia; ed:Reploid Productions]

The Issue
A loose coalition of political activists running the gamut of the political spectrum has started a petition to add 'None of the Above' as an option on every ballot, so that a voter can reject all candidates if he feels none of them represent a viable option. If 'None of the Above' wins the election, a new election with all-new candidates would have to be held.

The Debate
1. "It's a simple matter really," says left-wing activist and former rock star @@RANDOMNAME@@. "Sometimes when you're voting, all the options suck. Why then should people be forced to hold their nose and vote for the lesser of two, or even three or four evils? Adding 'None of the Above' to the ballot would ensure that the people have a choice at all times, even if that choice is to reject the choices they have been given!"
The Result: elections have become procedural nightmares due to voters persistently rejecting candidates.
Political Freedoms +9
Taxes +1

2. "Adding 'None of the Above' to the ballot makes absolutely no sense," contributes conservative political pundit @@RANDOMNAME@@. "Those who want to run for office have already put their names on the ballot, and if none of those options suits the voter, that's just too bad. Instead, we ought to prevent this sort of problem and limit the number of options. Sure, fewer people can run, but that will eliminate costly runoff elections completely!"
The Result: voters must frequently select what they view as the lesser of two evils on the ballot.
Political Freedoms -3

#167: Fluoride Controversy A Toothy Problem [Enlightened Harmony; ed:Sirocco]

The Issue
Recent reports revealing that the dental health of @@NAME@@ is far below the regional average have ignited a fierce debate over whether to introduce fluoride to the nation's tap water reserves.

The Debate
1. "Fluoride has been shown time and time again to promote dental health," argues Dr. Edwin Namel, Chairman of 'Friends of The Teeth'. "It's not an experimental drug for heaven's sake, it's an accepted method of promoting national good health. A nationwide program for the fluoridation of drinking water should not be seen as optional - it's a no-brainer for any sensible government. We need to implement this now, whether the public want it or not."
The Result: the people are famous throughout the region for their bleached-white teeth.
Civil Rights -1
Taxes +1

2. "I am strongly against this proposal!" rages @@RANDOMNAME@@, one of the more vociferous members of the @@NAME@@ Green Society. "When I turn on the water tap I expect to get just that. Water. Nothing else. We are not lab rats and it is not the government's place to force us into taking these chemicals! In fact I reckon we should put the brakes on all these new chemicals doctors keep pumping into people and give us the right to say no!"
The Result: the public health bureaucracy is wrapped in miles of red tape.
Civil Rights +1

3. "There's no need to go to either extreme," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, your personal dentist. "It's all about, um, choice. Here's a nice alternative: why not just have clean non-fluorinated drinking water and give more funds to dentists? If we had enough money, we could make all dental care absolutely free! It will be demanding on the taxpayers I know, but they'll surely be happy when they all have sparkling white teeth!"
The Result: most of the nation's wealthy aristocrats are dentists
Public Healthcare +4

#168: @@NAME@@ Plagued By STD Epidemic! [Eta Carinae; ed:Reploid Productions]

The Issue
A medical report has detailed a twenty-fold increase in infection rates over the past ten years of the sexually transmitted disease VODAIS (Viral Overactive Dysfunction of the Auto-Immune System). People all over the nation are petitioning that the government do something about the epidemic.

The Debate
1. "This situation is about to explode. At this rate, this epidemic could severely impact our economy, our way of life, and even our government," says Doctor @@RANDOMNAME@@. "We must supply powerful drugs to all infected people, even if we have to produce and distribute it ourselves. We must also educate people on the dangers of VODAIS and supply condoms to all sexually active males. Sure, we'll need to divert tax money from the military to fund all this, but what good is a military if the soldiers are too sick to fight?"
The Result: the government has undertaken a massive education and health program to combat VODAIS.

2. "If you supply condoms, you'll increase sexual promiscuity," scoffs religious leader @@RANDOMNAME@@. "If you supply drugs, you'll risk creating an aura of invincibility which in turn increases sexual promiscuity. Sexual abstinence is 100% effective in preventing VODAIS infection. This knowledge must be taught at all schools and workplaces, and all other choices must be ridiculed. Make celibacy the only option!"
The Result: people have to sneak out of the country in order to have sex.
Civil Rights -2
Happiness -2
Averageness +18

3. "Supplying drugs and condoms will not stop VODAIS infections and forcing everyone to be celibate will be the slow death of @@NAME@@," whispers Health Minister @@RANDOMNAME@@ in a poorly-lit back room. "Segregating the infected people is the most effective method. Everybody in @@NAME@@ must be tested for VODAIS. Then all the VODAIS positive people will be shipped to seperate gated communities away from the rest of us. If they need to mingle with uninfected people, then they must wear distinguishing badges that feature a Grim Reaper holding a skeletal @@ANIMAL@@."
The Result: otherwise healthy people are being sent to internment camps because they have VODAIS.
Civil Rights -5
Taxes -2


  1. Government Size 1
    Public Healthcare 4
    Health 1
    Averageness -4

    1. That was for issue
      #167: Fluoride Controversy A Toothy Problem [Enlightened Harmony; ed:Sirocco]

      option 3

  2. #166: Vote For 'None of the Above'?
    option 1:

    Political Freedoms 2
    Rudeness 0.2
    Political Apathy -2
    Safety 3.4
    Corruption -5
    Freedom From Corruption 5
    Authoritarianism -0.006
    Averageness -4

  3. Can someone post results for #158 "Regarding Robbers' Rights" Issue by: Robmuirpoems Editor: Sirocco?

  4. #159 Think Tank Proposes Privatized Prisons
    Option: 2
    +2 civil rights
    -1 pacifism
    -3 HDI
    -2 safety from crime
    -10 safety

  5. #157 Sergeants Are Too Nasty, Say New Recruits
    Option: 4
    -5 civil rights
    -4 compassion
    +3 corruption
    +7 defense forces
    +4 employment
    +1 government size
    -1 lifespan
    -10 pacifism
    -1 drug use
    -8 weather

  6. #167 Fluoride Controversy
    Option 2
    +3 Taxes
    +1 Obesity
    -8 Health
    -1 Industry Retail
    -2 Weather

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